LOVE

Love is a wonderful matter that it is hardly be able to explain by words. It can be shown is various of ways and even Adele sang a song ' To Make You Feel My Love'. This means that love is actually quite a complicated matter and that's why facebook is even having a relationship status called ' complicated'.

Despite, everyone says that loves hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuse these things with love but reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again. It depends on whether you are dare to take the steps to move forward. We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. So, when two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, no one can ever tear them apart.

We always claim that we loved a person that not supposed to be loved by us. We paid our effort so so so much that even we tear our heart apart just for him/her. In this world, love is always not work out in an equation. You spent 100% of your effort but you are not necessary to be get the return by 100%. Just like pouring water from one pail to another pail. You filled the first pail with 1 liter of water  and you start to pour the water from the first pail to the second ones. There is always some left behind the first pail that the second pail will never getting the 1 liter of water back. Same theory applies. Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s everything in between that makes it all worth living.

Sometimes you just need that one person who will let you talk and ramble listen to your complain and look like an idiot but still love you all the same. People might look you like an idiot but who knows you are an apple in him/her eyes. 

For me, I don mind to be and idiot in front of you if you know i am really meant to you. I will do my best just for you. Somehow, I am always feeling self-abased in this matter. Less confident to talk and communicate. I will try to talk but when i feel if people is just like reluctantly replying you i will pull myself out. I am always being miss-understood for being arrogant, strong, fearless and more.  It is hardly could be explained.

Yesterday, i listened to 2 songs and i repeatedly listening to these 2 songs for so many times. its touched especially the 后会无期. You must always remember the one that you met is not always be there and ready for you. It’s not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, its hard to find someone who actually means it. Falling in love is just like jumping from a really tall building, your brain tells you that it is never gonna be alright but  your heart tell you, you can fly. Therefore, why don't Just Fly! 

You are my destiny

后会无期

等。一个人

等？现在当你一说到等，别人都大概会联想到等一个人的咖啡了吧。这部戏第一天上映我就去戏院看了。看了有如再次点燃那早已熄灭爱的火花。觉得身边如果有一个人能一起分享你的一切一切其实是非常幸福的。不需要太多，这样就已经很足够了。但这火花很快就熄灭了消失在云烟之中。也许，这种感觉都只会在看戏才会有的吧。

这辈子能有多少次心跳加速、话都快说不出来的时刻呢？我没谈过恋爱，但我知道，一个对爱情有信仰的人，应该珍惜每一次心动的时刻，然后勇敢追寻下一次、再下一次、然后再下一次。哈哈，认识我的人都知道我就厉害就是说了。相信有很多人都同意戏里所说的，恋爱最甜美的部分就是暧昧，彼此猜测的过程，往往让人脸红心跳，往往叫人连做梦都无法忘记每一次说话时的紧张。

也有些时候，我曾路过你的心，不是我不想停留，而是你不肯收留。时常听人说，女生是一种很难懂的动物。女生常说：“男人没有一个是好东西。”所以当一个女生对你说：“你是个好人”时，你基本上就死了，因为你在她心目中已经正式退出了男人的行列，从而失去了进一步发展的可能。只有当一个女生对你说：“你这个死鬼”时，你才真是个好人，那时候你才真真稍微的看到一束光芒。女生有时就是多花样了一些。

在我这阶段的男生，很多时候就起了些矛盾，想爱又不想爱。原因就归于在，怕有了那个她又没时间陪她。让身边的她受委屈了。周末来一个简单的约会，久久来一次旅行，不知道这样朴素的恋爱方式是否还适合这繁华年代的女生吗？毕竟现在是打拼的时候，时间，金钱就是男人在成功道路上的武器。 不能过于奢侈。世上最凄绝的距离是两个人本来距离很远，互不相识，忽然有一天，他们相识，相爱，距离变得很近。然后有一天,不再相爱了，本来很近的两个人，变得很远，甚至比以前更远。

这个世界上，每个人都在等一个人。而在等的那个人呢......

人-生

人生，从字眼上看起来也就是人的一生。那究竟人的一生是要怎样过得呢。出世，成长，念书，工作，结婚，生病，死亡？曾有古人说过：“昔年移柳，依依江南，今看摇落，凄怆江潭，树由如此，人何以堪。从绿意盈盈到残叶纷飞，一生起落浮沉，我们像树一 样生长，最终也会像树一样颓然倒塌于地。这也许就是人生最透彻的定义吧！

人，一般都活在矛盾当中。人生就像一个摩天轮，转来转去，但最终兜兜转转还是回到原点！每天就是为了一些东西烦呀烦，以为找到了出路，结果原来跑回了原点。这就是“人 生”！其实，人生就像一盒巧克力，你永远不会知道下一颗巧克力是什么味道除非你买的巧克力全都是一样的味道。哈哈。

有时候，真的好想好想，什么都不做，就好好地趟在地上仰望一下蓝天碧云的天空，看看自由飞翔的小鸟，想想何谓人生。在我看来，人生就是要不断地做决定以确保你走的下一步是一步好棋。不过我相信人只要不失去方向，就不会失去自己因为人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。每一件事都要用多方面的角度来看它。说当然容易啦。虽然我时常都会这样想，但是颓废的心情和思想都会把这一切摧毁。俗语说：理想的路总是为有信心的人预备着，可是就难啊。面对迷茫的前方有时候真的不知道要做什么决定好，也许我也太多顾虑了吧。也可能是这样，习惯了，一个人孤孤单单旳感觉。

读了一篇散文就说到，人，往往急于成长，然后又哀叹失去的童年；以健康换取金钱，不久后又想用金钱恢复健康；对未来焦虑不已，却又无视现在的幸福，既不活在当下，也不活在未来。人生短短几十年，不要在临死前才感叹自己仿佛从未活过。所以有时候是要放开点的。在感情上也一样。其实，缘分就像一本书。翻的不经意会错过童话读得太认真又会流干眼泪。既来之则安之吧。

何谓人生? 到头来就是’烦‘。

Strive for good

Day passed and go and yet the old is remaining. We grown and we remember the past. Everything passed is now a history or memory to you so that you can absorb some sort of teaching and striving for the next good.

Sometimes, we remember events which really happened, so memory is unlike pure imagination. Yet, in practice, there can be close interactions between remembering, perceiving, and imagining. Somehow, there is always a saying that when people is almost dead, there is always a flashback of their memory of their own deeds. Not sure whether it is true or false but the day will come and we will know in one day maybe?

By the way, i am thinking why human's mind is so complicated and yet so ridiculous sometimes. We will not only remembering the good but also the bad and sometimes we even come out with an evil thought that will cause harm to other people. We even cheat or lie to each other in order to get what we want. Most of the time people wont be able to appreciate the good until the bad they trusted betrayed them. Well, at this moment, i am already not so sure what i gonna express anymore. Ever since the incident, i think over-doing or over-caring to somebody will just messing up the formula and creating some sort of reversing chemical reaction sometimes. As i said, human is complicated, you will never know how's the mind is actually functioning on each.

Recently, i lost my ability in socializing. Less familiar to it. Not so sure why but the i-don-care feeling is gradually overwhelming me. Less access to my dusty guitar, keyboard, violin  anymore. Although i am not good at any one of them. Chasing after the petty pace look comfortable but unsatisfying definitely. Hmmmm.. no ideas really, gotta strive for good indeed i guess. LOL

Last but not least, i am glad that i was a student before as i have time to create all these so called self-composing song merely for self-entertaining. Felt so lovely and happy when listening back to these 3 years ago funny piece of shit. I have some creation for my dearest friends, my home and my myself anyways. Hahahahhaha 
(Plsease Ignore my out of tune, lousy skills or watsoever ok, just for funny and some laugther)

一生知己

 
家


 
相信明天

Hello*

Again, half a year has gone! Realizing that expectation is always lagging behind reality is a truth. What you expected will never gone too far but lagging behind the cruel of reality.

Yeah, once again plan changed. Dragging here and there and deciding to leave or not to leave but in the end i'm still here, stayed!  Staying not because of betterment but clinging on the slight hope that it will be better. Sound pity it seems.

Well, things change, people change, world change and earth is rather moving, you cant just expecting people to go into your plan. Sometimes, we are somewhat lost in the middle but believe me, if you do have strong faith, it might still within your expectation somehow.

Sigh, i shall get myself a getaway though. BTW, I'm just came back from a short trip last week. Bought the ticket all of a sudden to Laos. I guess not much people went there before. In short, not really a well developed country but you still manage to get yourself something new to explore. Infrastructure there are kinda bad by comparing to malaysia. To certain places, car speed will never be able to exceed 20km/h is terrible and you are non-stop experiencing the earthquake moment inside the car. This makes me feel thankful for what i'm having. People there are usually the chinese descendants as their grandparent or grand-grandparents are mostly chinese (according to the locals there). Therefore, you can always see many chinese-like lao there. Somehow, they are no longer be able to speak in chinese anymore. Besides that, the food are quite nice if you are able to eat spicy food. languages used there is lao but 80% same as thai so if you can speak in thai you can usually communicate well there. After this, i'm planning to visit cambodia and vietnam too. Must be at least visit our neighboring country once when i can.

Gosh! The feeling of starting work after a holiday is bad. Laziness is overwhelming me. Luckily, I am not alone and i made a new internship friend. Or else i will be a loner hero then. Work, eat, sleep, work are the sequences of my life. Anyway, half more year to go, lets see if there are miracles happen. Cheers~

 

Yummy Food

 

 Scenery Taken

Selfie Took During the Trip

你给我听好！

年龄+1

不知不觉又到了年龄+1的月份脸上的鱼尾纹又多了一条。渐渐的才发现，世界上最恐怖的，不是命运的不幸与坎坷，亦不是对手的强大与未知，也不是人性的软弱与懒惰，更不是自然灾害。我想，真正可怕的是时间。人长越大就觉得时间过的越快！但有了时间，就意味着一切都有转变的可能。
 
''我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停'' 对这歌词有印象吗？ 其实每次都想像歌词里写的，就是一个人到处走走停停看看这世界。很庆幸的是，在我步入年龄+1 的时候，我懂得了懒惰不会使一个人变得富有；我懂得了逃避不会使一件事得到解决；我懂得了虚伪不会使一个人变得有底气；我懂得了抱怨不会使一件事出现转机；我更懂得了理论不会使一个项目达到预期。这一些的懂得使我不断在提醒自己一定要努力！

不久之前，下了一个大决定，就是决定了再一次的离开我爱的家园 (如果没有太大的变数)。不知道这是否对错。原因是我觉得我逐渐变得懒散了，开始满足我现在的生活不想再去尝试新的东西了。虽然有点生在福中不知福的感觉但我宁可放手一搏也不要做那不敢冒险的人。时常听人说机会是留给有准备的人而我现在就是为我自己准备着呢。

今年对我来说，是一个崭新的一年。之所以这么说，因为等待我的，是一个崭新的里程碑，一个新的学习过程。如果有人问我今年愿望是什么，我则是会答 ‘桃花’ 哈哈哈！

最后，祝福身边的每一个人快乐，更加祝福此刻正在阅读关心我的朋友们，祝福大家快乐幸福，马年行大运！ 
 

最后送你们一首 ‘叶子’

WHY!!

Don't know why, my head is always filling up with these 3 words, W,H,Y recently. Whenever people is asking why it simply means that they are facing some uncertainties for sure. By the way, WHY is a great simple term to use whenever there is something questionable! Thats why, WHY is always appearing in my life.

Since after graduation and coming out to work, there are quite a lot of WHY appearing indeed! I am asking myself why am i studying, why am i working, why am i not born to be superhero, why are we so tiring? Aren't we always telling other to enjoy life ya? Eventually, we are the person who don really enjoying our lives. 

At first, i was thinking to work in hometown is a brilliant choice but eventually i think i made myself not really a happy choice. Not sure the reason why but i just don like the current me and the situation.
lifeless, bored and meaningless. I am always feeling i can do something better but now everything ended up with laziness. LOST OF directions! I know i shall always cherish the things that i possessed, a mom that well taken care of me but you know.. ah.. hard to say that kind of feeling.. 

Living a life with almost everyday the same routine is totally killing me! For me, i am totally hating it and FED UP! Maybe this is a must-going process for an ordinary people. Sometimes, i was thinking why people wanted a long life, how good if we just having 50 years or even 35 years of life wont it just good enough? We play, we enjoyed, we worked and we died. That's the process, short yet simple and enjoying.

Argg!! I think i need a short break seriously! I wanted to go some place and live myself alone but i have my worries, my burden my family. At the same time, when i stop i have no income, What a LIFE! Anyway, another uncelebrated day is just around the corner! Topping up of another digit on my current age and I wish i can always make my mind clear and alert what to do and in fact what is so hard about it actually?
 
SCREAM! SCREAM! i wanna Scream the hell out of it!! Maybe he is right, i might just a Passenger!

Passenger - Let Her Go

''Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies''

累

何謂累，累有幾種說法。有人說累是一種感覺，也有人說是一種反應，更有人說可能是一種無奈。 我個人就有兩個詮釋，就是一種讓人反應出不想理會和放棄的感覺或者一般人所指的就是純粹上肉體的累。人之所以会心累，就是常常徘徊在坚持和放弃之间，举棋不定。然而，在我們的生活裡，不是每一樣東西你付出了，堅持了就會換來好的成果，也有一些東西是我們一定要放棄的。所以，别让自己心累！应该学着想开，看淡，学着不强求，学着深藏，适时放松自己，寻找宣泄，给疲惫的心灵解解压。

每天過著一樣的生活真的感到很疲憊。早上醒來，上班，下班，吃飯，睡覺。這就是上班族一般過著的生活。一天的時間就這樣過了。一時，想找一點有意義的事情做也變得有心無力了。啊！！我什麼時候才能脫離這一切呢？唉，剛剛踏進社會的我就說這樣的話了，大志以及志氣也不知道跑到那裡去了。就像汪峰‘存在’裡的歌詞

誰知道我們該去向何處

誰明白生命已變為何物

是否找個借口繼續苟活

或是展翅高飛保持憤怒

知道嗎？人之所以会烦恼，就是记性太好。该记的，不该记的都会留在记忆里。而我们又时常记住了应该忘掉的事情，忘掉了应该记住的事情。为什么有人说傻人有傻福。傻瓜可爱、可笑，因为他忘记了人们对他的嘲笑与冷漠，忘记了人世间的恩恩怨怨，忘记了世俗的功名利禄，忘记了这个世界的一切，所以他活在自己的世界里随心所欲地快乐着，傻傻的笑着。

世界上没有完美无缺的东西，不完美其实才是一种美，只有在不断的争取，不断的承受失败与挫折时，才能发现快乐。人，永远是矛盾的主体，经常处在犹豫和憧憬的困惑中，夹在世俗的单行道上，走不远，也回不去。人，真的是一个难以琢磨的生灵，最了解自己的永远只有自己。還有些人，明白了，了解了可是不前進因為他選擇了止步。

生活不可能一帆风顺，开心是过一天，烦恼还是过一天，那为何不让自己开开心心地过上一天呢。新的一年盼望一帆風順吧～ 加油！

Chinese New Year

It is the only fifth day of the great Chinese New Year but i have started working already!! ArgHH!! I should have applied leaves and have more holidays. This is the so called 'working life' after graduation. Now, all are having our own lives where in usual days friends are hard to catch up with each others. Therefore, we should have always cherish the moment being with our relatives and friends if there are gatherings around.

Well, i have enjoyed the CNY very much by bullshitting with my friends. I am always thankful that i have many friends around me where i can always bump into and 'blow water' with them. Please bear with me if sometimes i am being over judgmental, self-centered or being autarchy. Somehow, great holiday is always ended with tired soul. Waking up early in the morning but sleep late at the night really feeling terrible. I was like wanted to sleep all the times now. 

Anyhow, it is so blessed that i can have a great dinner with my gang of good friends before they are leaving and back to their working lives. Great for meeting up you guys and hope that we can always keeping in touch. For friends who are not be able to show your face in the gathering not to worry ya, we can always have another gathering for you guys. Wish you guys having a prosperous year and turn all the wished wishes become real. Happy Chinese New Year and 開工大吉! HAHA!!

                                                           

                                                                   全家福 

(Please ignore my stupid head and tired look ^.^)

The Aunties!