Friday, December 15, 2017

The Despair Man

Yeah it is the end of 2017, another year passed and I am still here and being the same ordinary person again. In general, at least once a year I will login back to here and to sumarize my life throughout the year because I seems to be very forgetful all these days so I must find a way to keep me remember things that I have gone through. Once in a blue moon, reading the things I have shared here is also one of my entertainment too.

 Well, 2017 is not a very bad year by the way, at least i got myself travelled and visited few places. I went Krabi -> Chiang mai-> Bangkok -> Korea. I have also made videos of the places in order to keep me reminded with my joys back in the trips. I have no ideas why I will be going so many places this year. Every gang of my friends asked me for one place and thus ended up with all these places then, I guessed. Although I have spent somewhat extra on all these but the joys I had make me feel they worth it. I am getting POOR~~~~~ Argg!

When we gets old, we seem to be more afraid in making decision. This year, I want to make myself a good decision too, whether to stay or go, whether to let go or maintain, whether to give up or pushing forward. Positive and negative, black and white, it always drives people in dilemma. Well, I think I am kinda made up my mind though, cannot be staying intact there anymore, time to rock and rolls before we are too late to do so.

Anyhow, let’s pray for the best for 2018 as there are 2 more weeks to go only. First, I would like to try my luck in applying for working holiday, next, applying for new job and then get myself changing for new environment. But where is the best place and what job fits me the best? Pray ah Pray ah~ My Almighty Lord please grant me a good job and a new start toward the year of 2018. Bad job and working environment really drive people motiveless in doing everything.  No comments on that, lets everything turn all right in 2018. 

Happy New Year!!

Krabi 2017

Korea 2017

Friday, December 30, 2016

Colors of Life

How long i have left here actually? By looking back into my last post, it has been 365 and more days I have left my blog here intact. In this last week of 2016, I am here back to clean the dusty blog and today's topic is Colors of Life. So, first of all, what is life? For me, life is a process, a process where we are firstly formed from an ejaculated fluid and then swim through all the processes and grow up to become a youngster, teenager then adult and finally get old and rest in peace. Along the processes, we add in a lots of elements. We are granted the chances to experience sweet, sour, bitter and tough life.

For my life, what would it be like? Enjoying all the tastes of life? For the end of 2016, i felt glad that i have finally achieved one of my main goal in life where I turn my promises into reality by providing my family a new shelter. Bitterness has finally paid its efforts.

For me, moving house is not an easy task as the buying part, renovation part and furnishing part will definitely drive to become crazy. Despair, tiring, helpless and worries filled all the ways up. I bought the house back in 2014 and been saving for 2 years and doing most of the renovation parts by myself and yet it is still not enough! These include of land clearing, grass plantation, plumbing works, lighting and electrical appliances installation, tilling works and etc and yet it is over my budget by double! " Money Fly Fly " I can now officially declare that I am a bankruptcy! This is so called " 财散人安乐"? I can then doing nothing and enjoying my life now? Tougher life is yet to come! LIVE IT ON, James!

Anyhow I felt I am always well blessed and I am thankful for the blessing I have gotten all these while. Rejoice and praise the Lord. Looking forward to the day where I can feel myself revive again! Grant me strength and wisdom. Nevertheless, give thank to 2016 and all the best in 2017. Good things yet to come.

Happy New Year All!

Thursday, January 8, 2015







常听人说 “机会面前,人人平等”,这是谁说的! 如果你不奋斗,不努力,没付出,你哪来平等啊。所以就有这么一个人说到:‘攫取成功的精神财产将永远贫富不均’。在浩瀚的生命之岸,你应该自豪地告诉世界,你追求过,你奋斗过,你为了辉煌的人生从来没有放弃过希望,从来没有停止过拼搏。而这个造就了万物的世界也将自豪而欣慰地回答你:只要奋斗不息,人生终将辉煌。

奔跑吧 2015!

Sunday, September 28, 2014


Love is a wonderful matter that it is hardly be able to explain by words. It can be shown is various of ways and even Adele sang a song ' To Make You Feel My Love'. This means that love is actually quite a complicated matter and that's why facebook is even having a relationship status called ' complicated'.

Despite, everyone says that loves hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuse these things with love but reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again. It depends on whether you are dare to take the steps to move forward. We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. So, when two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, no one can ever tear them apart.

We always claim that we loved a person that not supposed to be loved by us. We paid our effort so so so much that even we tear our heart apart just for him/her. In this world, love is always not work out in an equation. You spent 100% of your effort but you are not necessary to be get the return by 100%. Just like pouring water from one pail to another pail. You filled the first pail with 1 liter of water  and you start to pour the water from the first pail to the second ones. There is always some left behind the first pail that the second pail will never getting the 1 liter of water back. Same theory applies. Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s everything in between that makes it all worth living.

Sometimes you just need that one person who will let you talk and ramble listen to your complain and look like an idiot but still love you all the same. People might look you like an idiot but who knows you are an apple in him/her eyes. 

For me, I don mind to be and idiot in front of you if you know i am really meant to you. I will do my best just for you. Somehow, I am always feeling self-abased in this matter. Less confident to talk and communicate. I will try to talk but when i feel if people is just like reluctantly replying you i will pull myself out. I am always being miss-understood for being arrogant, strong, fearless and more.  It is hardly could be explained.

Yesterday, i listened to 2 songs and i repeatedly listening to these 2 songs for so many times. its touched especially the 后会无期. You must always remember the one that you met is not always be there and ready for you. It’s not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, its hard to find someone who actually means it. Falling in love is just like jumping from a really tall building, your brain tells you that it is never gonna be alright but  your heart tell you, you can fly. Therefore, why don't Just Fly! 

You are my destiny


Wednesday, September 3, 2014





在我这阶段的男生,很多时候就起了些矛盾,想爱又不想爱。原因就归于在,怕有了那个她又没时间陪她。让身边的她受委屈了。周末来一个简单的约会,久久来一次旅行,不知道这样朴素的恋爱方式是否还适合这繁华年代的女生吗?毕竟现在是打拼的时候,时间,金钱就是男人在成功道路上的武器。 不能过于奢侈。世上最凄绝的距离是两个人本来距离很远,互不相识,忽然有一天,他们相识,相爱,距离变得很近。然后有一天,不再相爱了,本来很近的两个人,变得很远,甚至比以前更远。


Wednesday, June 25, 2014


人生,从字眼上看起来也就是人的一生。那究竟人的一生是要怎样过得呢。出世,成长,念书,工作,结婚,生病,死亡?曾有古人说过:“昔年移柳,依依江南,今看摇落,凄怆江潭,树由如此,人何以堪。从绿意盈盈到残叶纷飞,一生起落浮沉,我们像树一 样生长,最终也会像树一样颓然倒塌于地。这也许就是人生最透彻的定义吧!

人,一般都活在矛盾当中。人生就像一个摩天轮,转来转去,但最终兜兜转转还是回到原点!每天就是为了一些东西烦呀烦,以为找到了出路,结果原来跑回了原点。这就是“人 生”!其实,人生就像一盒巧克力,你永远不会知道下一颗巧克力是什么味道除非你买的巧克力全都是一样的味道。哈哈。



何谓人生? 到头来就是’烦‘。

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Strive for good

Day passed and go and yet the old is remaining. We grown and we remember the past. Everything passed is now a history or memory to you so that you can absorb some sort of teaching and striving for the next good.

Sometimes, we remember events which really happened, so memory is unlike pure imagination. Yet, in practice, there can be close interactions between remembering, perceiving, and imagining. Somehow, there is always a saying that when people is almost dead, there is always a flashback of their memory of their own deeds. Not sure whether it is true or false but the day will come and we will know in one day maybe?

By the way, i am thinking why human's mind is so complicated and yet so ridiculous sometimes. We will not only remembering the good but also the bad and sometimes we even come out with an evil thought that will cause harm to other people. We even cheat or lie to each other in order to get what we want. Most of the time people wont be able to appreciate the good until the bad they trusted betrayed them. Well, at this moment, i am already not so sure what i gonna express anymore. Ever since the incident, i think over-doing or over-caring to somebody will just messing up the formula and creating some sort of reversing chemical reaction sometimes. As i said, human is complicated, you will never know how's the mind is actually functioning on each.

Recently, i lost my ability in socializing. Less familiar to it. Not so sure why but the i-don-care feeling is gradually overwhelming me. Less access to my dusty guitar, keyboard, violin  anymore. Although i am not good at any one of them. Chasing after the petty pace look comfortable but unsatisfying definitely. Hmmmm.. no ideas really, gotta strive for good indeed i guess. LOL

Last but not least, i am glad that i was a student before as i have time to create all these so called self-composing song merely for self-entertaining. Felt so lovely and happy when listening back to these 3 years ago funny piece of shit. I have some creation for my dearest friends, my home and my myself anyways. Hahahahhaha 
(Plsease Ignore my out of tune, lousy skills or watsoever ok, just for funny and some laugther)





Friday, May 16, 2014


Again, half a year has gone! Realizing that expectation is always lagging behind reality is a truth. What you expected will never gone too far but lagging behind the cruel of reality.

Yeah, once again plan changed. Dragging here and there and deciding to leave or not to leave but in the end i'm still here, stayed!  Staying not because of betterment but clinging on the slight hope that it will be better. Sound pity it seems.

Well, things change, people change, world change and earth is rather moving, you cant just expecting people to go into your plan. Sometimes, we are somewhat lost in the middle but believe me, if you do have strong faith, it might still within your expectation somehow.

Sigh, i shall get myself a getaway though. BTW, I'm just came back from a short trip last week. Bought the ticket all of a sudden to Laos. I guess not much people went there before. In short, not really a well developed country but you still manage to get yourself something new to explore. Infrastructure there are kinda bad by comparing to malaysia. To certain places, car speed will never be able to exceed 20km/h is terrible and you are non-stop experiencing the earthquake moment inside the car. This makes me feel thankful for what i'm having. People there are usually the chinese descendants as their grandparent or grand-grandparents are mostly chinese (according to the locals there). Therefore, you can always see many chinese-like lao there. Somehow, they are no longer be able to speak in chinese anymore. Besides that, the food are quite nice if you are able to eat spicy food. languages used there is lao but 80% same as thai so if you can speak in thai you can usually communicate well there. After this, i'm planning to visit cambodia and vietnam too. Must be at least visit our neighboring country once when i can.

Gosh! The feeling of starting work after a holiday is bad. Laziness is overwhelming me. Luckily, I am not alone and i made a new internship friend. Or else i will be a loner hero then. Work, eat, sleep, work are the sequences of my life. Anyway, half more year to go, lets see if there are miracles happen. Cheers~

Yummy Food

 Scenery Taken

Selfie Took During the Trip


Wednesday, March 26, 2014


''我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停'' 对这歌词有印象吗? 其实每次都想像歌词里写的,就是一个人到处走走停停看看这世界。很庆幸的是,在我步入年龄+1 的时候,我懂得了懒惰不会使一个人变得富有;我懂得了逃避不会使一件事得到解决;我懂得了虚伪不会使一个人变得有底气;我懂得了抱怨不会使一件事出现转机;我更懂得了理论不会使一个项目达到预期。这一些的懂得使我不断在提醒自己一定要努力!

不久之前,下了一个大决定,就是决定了再一次的离开我爱的家园 (如果没有太大的变数)。不知道这是否对错。原因是我觉得我逐渐变得懒散了,开始满足我现在的生活不想再去尝试新的东西了。虽然有点生在福中不知福的感觉但我宁可放手一搏也不要做那不敢冒险的人。时常听人说机会是留给有准备的人而我现在就是为我自己准备着呢。

今年对我来说,是一个崭新的一年。之所以这么说,因为等待我的,是一个崭新的里程碑,一个新的学习过程。如果有人问我今年愿望是什么,我则是会答 ‘桃花’ 哈哈哈!


最后送你们一首 ‘叶子’

Friday, February 21, 2014


Don't know why, my head is always filling up with these 3 words, W,H,Y recently. Whenever people is asking why it simply means that they are facing some uncertainties for sure. By the way, WHY is a great simple term to use whenever there is something questionable! Thats why, WHY is always appearing in my life.

Since after graduation and coming out to work, there are quite a lot of WHY appearing indeed! I am asking myself why am i studying, why am i working, why am i not born to be superhero, why are we so tiring? Aren't we always telling other to enjoy life ya? Eventually, we are the person who don really enjoying our lives. 

At first, i was thinking to work in hometown is a brilliant choice but eventually i think i made myself not really a happy choice. Not sure the reason why but i just don like the current me and the situation.
lifeless, bored and meaningless. I am always feeling i can do something better but now everything ended up with laziness. LOST OF directions! I know i shall always cherish the things that i possessed, a mom that well taken care of me but you know.. ah.. hard to say that kind of feeling.. 

Living a life with almost everyday the same routine is totally killing me! For me, i am totally hating it and FED UP! Maybe this is a must-going process for an ordinary people. Sometimes, i was thinking why people wanted a long life, how good if we just having 50 years or even 35 years of life wont it just good enough? We play, we enjoyed, we worked and we died. That's the process, short yet simple and enjoying.

Argg!! I think i need a short break seriously! I wanted to go some place and live myself alone but i have my worries, my burden my family. At the same time, when i stop i have no income, What a LIFE! Anyway, another uncelebrated day is just around the corner! Topping up of another digit on my current age and I wish i can always make my mind clear and alert what to do and in fact what is so hard about it actually?
SCREAM! SCREAM! i wanna Scream the hell out of it!! Maybe he is right, i might just a Passenger!

Passenger - Let Her Go

''Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies''